A question so simple, yet so hard to answer for many.
It’s a question that everyone should ask themselves early in life, and not just once. For myself, it was a question that I really sat down and asked myself at age 22. I had just come back from living overseas for 4 years and felt like I’d had enough experiences and time with myself to tackle the question head on.
I gave myself the better part of a year to answer it.
I spent that year reflecting and analysing who I was in that moment, where I had been, and where I’d like to go next. Big questions that require serious thought, so be patient with yourself.
People will often say ‘they’re still finding themselves,’ or they’re ‘not entirely sure what they want to do just yet,’ still in search of their life purpose. And that is ok. However, my only question to those people would be “Have you really taken the time to figure it out?” You’ll find that most people have not.
Thinking deeply feels like a burden to most, they want the quick fix, the path of least resistance, or blame being too busy instead. Going deep into who you are and what makes you tick can be rather daunting, but that’s exactly the reason why you need to do it.
So, what does it look like?
For me, I read, recounted memories and experiences, wrote them down, and repeated the cycle. It’s amazing how much of our lives and identity we lose to our own heads, writing things down has really helped me to remember and re-live some of the major events in my life, and re-learn what makes me, me.
I would ask myself questions like:
Who am I?
What do I enjoy?
Who do I like to be around?
What does my ideal lifestyle look like?
What made me happy when I was a kid?
Am I happy with who I am today? If not, why?
What don’t I like about myself? How can I change that?
Where do I see myself in 5 years, 10 years, 20 years?
What’s holding me back?
If you haven’t asked yourself questions like these already, please do so. You’ll be thanking yourself that you did. Without the answers, living a life that is full, and one that is your own, becomes rather difficult.
It’s important to be real with yourself when you do so. Half-assing these questions doesn’t work. Believe me.
I remember finding it rather painful and uncomfortable many a times during that year, as I unearthed things about my past and myself that I wasn’t necessarily proud of or happy with. I’m sure the same will happen for you, and when it does, just acknowledge that there’s nothing you can do to change it, only how you want to learn from it and move forward.
Having experienced so much and met so many different types of people in my life thus far, I can definitively say that “everyone has their shit!” Meaning, everyone has their own pitfalls and problems to deal with. No one is immune, no matter how great and shiny things may look from the outside. Keeping this in mind when grappling with some of those questions and feelings, tends to help.
When thinking about such a big question like ‘who am I?’ It’s super important to do the work alone. I would sit in a quiet room or in a park somewhere with no phone or technology, just a pen and paper, and my thoughts. It must be this way.
In today’s world, it’s easier than ever to go through life as an impression of someone else, distracted by what’s going on around you, rather than what’s going on inside. If this sounds like you, then deep thinking time alone is just what you need.
Having worked through some of these questions and having taken the time to think originally, I was able to better understand myself, and determine how I wanted to live my life moving forward. Practically speaking, it helped me make some major decisions in terms of my career and my business, my relationships, and what I prioritised at the time.
Understanding what makes you tick, and who you want to surround yourself with, are two very important things to know as you throw yourself into life.
Books and people that helped me during this time:
- Awareness – Anthony De Mello
- The 80/20 Principle – Richard Koch
- Tony Robbins
Taking the time to slow down and really figure out who I am, and what I want out of life has created this sort of framework or ‘criteria’ if you like for how I make decisions. As we know, life moves quick, and although you might know yourself at one point in time, it’s easy to drift off path and lose yourself along the way. Holding some of your answers to the above questions at the front of your mind when faced with certain decisions can help to keep you on track and continue living a life that is yours.
Jack Macdonald 