I’ve always been fascinated by the idea of the ‘Butterfly Effect’. This idea that one small decision, seemingly innocuous, can have such a large impact.
To think that I stand where I do today because of the millions of decisions that I’ve made in my life thus far, knowing that if I had made just one differently, I could be standing in a completely different spot, is crazy to me! It gets me thinking about all the times I went right rather than left, and left rather than right, and how those tiny decisions, many of which were years ago, have impacted and shaped me into who I am, and where I stand today.
By looking at decisions in such a way, you could see why I’m about to stress just how important and pivotal decision making is as a skill. Arguably the most important skill when it comes to living a life that is your own.
Every day we make 35,000 of them believe it or not, so if you’re a poor decision maker, you can see quickly how your life can get off track.
The decisions you make should be rooted in who you are, and what you want out of life. Without that knowledge, it’s rather difficult to make decisions that are the best for you. If you haven’t read it, start with Who Are You? first.
Once you have a handle on who you are, you’re now ready to start making great decisions.
I’ve made many great and poor decisions in my life, and still make plenty of both today. Some of which I realise in the moment, and others not until years later. But just like everyone else, you must make countless bad decisions, to understand what a good decision is. So don’t come down too hard on yourself when those bad ones are made.
The stage of life that you’re in, will very much influence the types of decisions that you make. So, a poor decision for me today, may be a great decision for you. There’s no right or wrong. Only what’s best for you in this moment, based on the life you want to lead.
When I was younger, making my way through school, I would make decisions based on what my friends were doing and what helped me fit in. I don’t blame myself for them, and don’t even think I’d change them, as that’s all I really knew. Then, when I was out of school, I made decisions based on what would make me a great athlete, show me the world, and give me opportunities to travel, explore, and meet new people. Today, I make decisions differently again. See my point?
Just like the world changes around us, we change too.
My decisions today are grounded in the internal work that I started to do at age 22. Better understanding who I am, what I want out of life, and who I want to be around, is the foundation from which I make all decisions today. As a result, decisions come far easier to me now than they once did. There is less room for debate. The decision either matches who I am, what I believe in, and how I want to live my life, or it doesn’t. It’s simple.
In a world of more decisions, and potential choices than ever before, simple is liberating.
For some, this may sound rather boring, and for others, this may sound amazing. Both may be right. I’m only speaking on what’s worked for me, remember.
This isn’t to say that there is no room for sporadic, ‘off the cuff’ decisions, there 100% is. You wouldn’t be ‘living’ without those. However, those quick decisions will now hopefully be more aligned with who you are, and what you want out of life, rather than being wayward and rash.
So how do I really make decisions? I’ve given you context for why I make the decisions I make, but not necessarily the how.
I make decisions based on the following two questions:
- Is it a “Fuck Yes!” ?
- Will I look back on this decision with regret?
The first question is all about how it feels inside. Does it excite me? Does it light me up? Is it something I’m passionate about? If it doesn’t do these things for me, then it’s likely a “no”. Life is too short to make decisions that don’t excite you.
The second question is all about thinking long-term. I’ve used this question to guide me through some of the biggest decisions I’ve made in my life so far and owe a lot to it as a result. Some of those decisions were: going to live in America at age 18, starting my own business, and listening to my heart rather than my head when chasing my life partner. People, experiences, and times in my life that I wouldn’t trade for the world.
The people I know that make decisions in such a way, lead lives that are full, and lives that are their own. Two things that I certainly strive for.
What are you striving for? What do you value most in your life right now? Who do you want to surround yourself with? What excites you?
All good questions to ask yourself. Questions that I ask myself when making decisions.
If the Butterfly Effect has taught me anything, it’s that the decisions we make today, however small, can have very real impacts on tomorrow. Tomorrow being tomorrow as in ‘Thursday’, and tomorrow being 20 years from now. So, decide wisely.
Next: Listen Carefully
Jack Macdonald 